Hijab: From a Burden to a Blessing

 Hijab: From a Burden to a Blessing

(The person who wrote this amazing post would like to stay anonymous)

“She took it off.”

“Oh! Did she? I knew she would. Who wouldn’t have guessed it?”

“I saw this coming too. May Allah [swt] protect us.”

Sounds familiar, right? Pretty much all of us have been part of a similar conversation. It has become quite easy to tell if someone is about to take of their hijab. But we hardly stop to analyze this issue.

We currently live in a time of fitnah, where the basic Islamic teachings are considered to be controversial topics. Accordingly, many Muslim women do not feel at ease with the decision that they made some time ago: being a hijabi. We are not always as strong as we once were, neither is our iman. Our faith is therefore bound to change due to many factors. The clue is to be aware of your iman level, and start to take corrective actions accordingly.

Let’s start by understanding the tactic..

Taking off the hijab is usually not the end, nor the beginning; it’s merely a step within a series. The reason you won’t be surprised if a friend of yours took her hijab off is because it shows before she does. And this could be any of us, may Allah [swt] protect us. Satan is smart, he drags us step by step…

“O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Satan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Satan - indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing. And if not for the favor of Allah upon you and His mercy, not one of you would have been pure, ever, but Allah purifies whom He wills, and Allah is Hearing and Knowing.” [Qur’an: Chapter 24, Verse 21]

Understanding this technique will help us avoid falling into Satan’s trap. He doesn’t bring it all at once, he’ll take you bit by bit into where he wants. Therefore, when we find ourselves slipping into sins or actions that we never used to do, or giving up on good deeds that we used to do, we should take the hint that our heart is changing. Otherwise, we’ll soon enough feel that our hijab is a burden, that it does not represent us, and that this is not who we are. This will be true, because our actions and beliefs won’t be in harmony, and our hearts are so fragile that they won’t be able to handle this confusion.

We learn from our tradition that iman is what lies in the heart and is reflected through action.

This is the reason why some hijabis don’t feel that they are able to keep their hijab on, and why some non-hijabis feeling of guilt kills them every day. Because our actions and beliefs go hand in hand; they complement one another. We can’t work on one and neglect the other. We need to promise ourselves that no matter how much of a downfall we’re in, we can only stand still and not take steps backwards, until we’re in sha Allah stronger and we’re able to take our imaan steps forward.

We can’t fight our nafs on our own. We can always ask for help. We need to accept that we are humans; we forget and we get attached to this dunia. We need to ask Allah [swt] for assistance and support. Make a lot of dua. Ask Allah [swt] to make you stronger, to teach you, and to make your soul at peace. We should work on our passion, on our understanding of Islam, on being mindful when performing our prayers, when doing dhikr. It’s doubtful that any of us will face the same struggles if we are attentive when we recite this for at least 17 times in our 17 rakaas everyday:

“It is You we worship and You we ask for help.” [Qur’an: Chapter 1, Verse 5]

It’ll also be a lot less of a battle if you share it with your sohba salha (righteous companions). We’re not always strong enough to fight all temptations on our own. Sometimes we need to listen to someone else speaking to our soul. That’s why it’s essential to be surrounded by sohba salha, or to at least have a couple of people who you consider to be your safe sohba salha zone; to whom- at your weakest point- you might burst right there, and return with all the positive energy needed.

This also goes the other way round; if you think a friend of yours is on the edge, your little talk about it might be exactly what she needs. The elephant in the room’s approach will not be the best help you can give her. Your words might not solve the problem overnight, but they might ring a bell, and this might be exactly what she needs. Allah [swt] tells us in the Qur’an”:

“So remind, you are only a reminder.” [Qur’an: Chapter 88, Verse 21]

We also need to remind ourselves, what is this?

Hijab is not about covering our hair; it’s about being modest. This little piece of cloth should remind us every single day that this is not where we belong. We belong in Jannah, and we therefore need to make the effort. Prophet Muhammed [saw] said:

“Be on your guard that the commodity of Allah is precious. Verily the commodity of Allah is Jannah.” [At-Tirmidhi]

This dunia is just a gateway for us to eternally live in the company of Allah [swt], Prophet Muhammed [saw], and the Companions [ranhum]. We need to forego some of our desires, some of our ego, and some of our clinging to this deadly life, in order for us to be eternally somewhere we wish to belong.

To cut things short, is hijab a battle or a blessing?

It’s all about our perspective. If we keep thinking of hijab as an obligation and burden, we will definitely feel sorry for ourselves and we will be looking down on ourselves. The key is to “stay on solid ground” knowing that even if we look stunning without hijab, we are leaving it all for something greater, we let go of pleasing people and pleasing our own nafs “ego” which always wants to be fed with nice words and compliments. But for whom are we doing it in the first place? Yes, Only for Allah [saw] and definitely Allah [swt] will reward us in dunia and akhira.

Hijab is our blessing from Allah [swt]. How could we ever think of trading off a blessing for a false pleasure, how we could imagine that a blessing shall stay with us if we are taking it for granted or as if we are doing something we should be thanked for? No, for our surprise this is not a thing we should be thanked for, it is simply a blessing that we are the ones who should be thankful for, by keeping ourselves as Allah [swt] wants, not as we please.

“So remain on a right course as you have been commanded, [you] and those who have turned back with you [to Allah ], and do not transgress. Indeed, He is Seeing of what you do.” [Qur’an: Chapter 11, Verse 112]

It’s funny how Satan and our nafs are falsifying some deep-rooted concepts inside us, that we might think that our looks could bring us a good job, handsome husband, or could give us any of our pre-written rizq. Allah [swt] is the One and Only who can make us look beautiful, bring us a good job, husband or whatever else. No, it is not me or you, it is not our looks or how smart we think we are.

"O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " [Ibn Majah]

Passing the real test!

Our battle and struggle is hard; as people are taking it off easily nowadays but here is the test, we shouldn't think that it would be easy, but Allah [swt] will help us get through it if we seek help from Him and take steps towards Him. Yes, we will be tested in our faith and every step we take towards Allah [swt], to examine our sincerity.

“Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried?” [Qur’an: Chapter 29, Verse 2].

But, guess what, every time you feel you are passing a test, by the aid of Allah [swt], you feel stronger, freer, and really liberated from the burdens of your nafs, your shaitan and your desires. For the very first time, you will get that feeling of a champion, a real winner, you win the battle against your nafs because you want an eternal pleasure, you shall not settle down for this worldly life temporary pleasures that may be looking bright from outside. But if they are not pleasing the creator of this world Allah [swt] , they will definitely go in vain.

“Whatever you have will end, but what Allah has is lasting. And We will surely give those who were patient their reward according to the best of what they used to do.” [Qur’an: Chapter 16, Verse 96]

My hijab, I won’t let you go!

Yes, I will hold on to my hijab, to every single aspect of it. It's not the hijab that needs fixing and adjusting so I'd fit in; It's my very self that needs fixing and adjusting.

Hijab is not just a headscarf, it is encompassing modesty not just in how we dress but modesty should be crystal clear in our attitudes and interactions. If anything shall contradict with my hijab, then it is THE thing that I should get rid of, not my hijab.

I know well I am full of mistakes, downfalls and sins that only Allah [swt] knows about and seals every single time. Voila! Satan starts whispering “ How can you wear Hijab, whilst you are making other mistakes; you hypocrite!“

Everyone has his/her own mistakes, but the idea of “I should be a perfect person to be able to put on Hijab” is actually one of the very well-known evil ways of Satan to make us slip in the circle of what comes first: Hijab or morals! Why not working on both together, putting in mind, that NOBODY is perfect, I am not perfect and I never will be, I am just trying as hard as I can to fix my soul, my relation with Allah [swt], my interactions with people and finally my outer look. It is not all or none game, it is the matter of us trying to be as good as we can in each of our life aspects. May Allah [swt] teach us, help us, and guide us to the righteous path. Ameen.

Some tips:

• Stop the negative self-talk and self-comments. You are beautiful.


• Be mindful in your prayers and dhikr.


• Take time to reflect on your iman level often.


• Make a lot of dua.


• Surround yourself with righteous friends and be a righteous friend.


• Ask for help when you need it.


• Try to have a fresh new start with your hijab, discover and reap its benefits


• Revive your style to be modest and chic.

Understanding the Hijab

                                                          By: Hannah Potter

I used to think that the word hijab was undeniably connected to other words such as oppression, radicals, fundamentalism, and persecution. Why would women want to be covered completely, turning into no more than a piece of cloth, losing any sense of individual identity? I pitied the women who in my simple mind were being controlled by fathers, brothers, and husbands. Living in the “free” world, I was astounded at the fact that the women were so marginalized in the current globalized world we lived in. In short time, I was realized my immense ignorance and began to realize my misunderstanding. Was I to blame for my ignorance? Yes and no. Growing up in rural North Carolina, I had never met and known a woman wearing a hijab, even though we travelled quite often.  My parents took me to a Middle Eastern restaurant in a neighboring city since I was young, but the subject of the hijab was one that never arose. My lack of interactions coupled with being surrounded by overly biased news media in post 9/11 America, I lacked exposure to the other side of the story. However, it took no more than a few books to realize that I was previously mistaken, and that women wearing the hijab were simply women, women who could not be labeled with overarching generalizations, and whose individual lives were simply that, individual and specific to each person.

My reading left me with further questions to understand the women, and their reasoning. I understood at that point that the decision to wearing the hijab was one that people make as a sacrifice to God as a symbol of their devotion. Even with this understanding, I was still not entirely convinced that I truly understood why the women would want to cover themselves, hiding themselves from the rest of the world. There were many questions that needed to be answered until I felt I could be truly accepting of these women. At that point, I respected that the women were making their own decision, but I would never dream of doing the same.

In August, 2009, I traveled to Egypt for six months in my senior year of high school. I lived with three extremely kind, generous, and loving host families in Harem and Mohandiseen, took Arabic lessons, and went to school at Misr Language School. This was a life-changing experience. I not only fell in love with the country, but more importantly the people that lived there. The people were some of the kindest people I’ve ever met. Everyone I met was willing to help, welcoming, and overly hospitable. Those people are who inspired me to continue studying Arabic, the region, and the culture, so that I could return again someday. Aside from the newfound 7b or love, I also gained a new perspective on many issues, particularly the hijab.

I met many women and young ladies that wore the hijab.  Two of my host mothers wore it, and several of my new friends did as well. During Arabic class, our teacher would answer our constant questions about it, and her life with it, giving me more and more knowledge and understanding of it. I became to realize that when the comments in the West talking of the hijab as an oppressing tool of men, those same comments are just as oppressive if not more oppressing to the wearers of the hijab. Most women decide to wear the hijab on their own, and by saying it is oppressive is infringing that individual’s rights. Furthermore, I began to see the beauty of the hijab, and those who wear it. One day, I had the beautiful experience of a friend showing me her hair, which had been covered everyday from the rest of the world under her hijab. The beauty of her hair blew me away, and I gained a greater amount of respect of her than the high level I already had in her. All of a sudden, I understood. I can still distinctly remember the pure beauty of her and her hair. Let’s say, I had seen her hair every single day, would I have such a strong memory of her hair now? No, I would have noticed it the first time, and then taken it for granted every day after that. Aside from the beauty, wearers of the hijab appear to have much more respect for their bodies than most other women that I know. They know that they have something special, and that it is worth protecting. Being modest with their physical traits, the women are able to put forth their intellectual, emotional, and mental gifts without being judged otherwise. My experiences in Egypt created a huge amount of respect for the women that make the choice to wear the hijab, and a sense of envy for their tireless commitment and dedication to not only their faith, but to respecting themselves.

Since being back in America, I have furthered my study of the Middle East, particularly the women living there. Reading different sources, my view of the hijab has evolved even further. I recognize there are women who never had a choice, and do feel marginalized within society, feeling they have no individual voice. The voices of these women should be heard, but I also still hear the voice of those women who did and do choose. I have learned how the hijab can be a liberating force for women, creating a greater free space for them, without the looks or calls of men. It allows the women to be out of the house, making their own in work and school, and other arenas of life. It is a symbol to others of who they are, and whom they represent. Another role I have found in America, is constantly trying to defend the women who wear hijabs to others who may still be in the ignorance I once was in. There is still great misunderstanding about this issue, and I feel it is my responsibility to spread the experiences and knowledge that I have gained.

Reading this beautiful blog has furthered my understanding of those women who chose to put on the hijab. I feel as if I am opening a journal, and reading these women’s innermost thoughts. It deepens my knowledge of the process of transitioning to wearing a hijab, and the emotional journal that it entails. Several friends did express their stories about this deeply personal matter while I was in Egypt, but I feel so privileged to be able to read such a wide range of experiences and journeys through this blog. It has also been a great source to share with friends, so they can have a greater understanding as well. In conclusion, I am grateful for the opportunities and people I have met to have insight into the hijab, and it is a topic that is beautiful, mysterious, and enlightening. 

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A Beautiful Secret

Salams Everyone,
  So this entry is a story written by my sister it was published in an online magazine called Muslimah Girl. If you would like to subscribe to the magazine please follow this link: http://muslimahgirl.com/?page_id=72 .
                                                                 Enjoy!

                                                             A Beautiful Secret 

                                                            By Mariam Ghanem

           “Dana you have such gorgeous hair mashallah,” Salma said as I smiled sheepishly. I let my hijab drop as I pretended to fix my hair in the mirror. From the corner of my eye I could see Salma fixing her hair as well letting her long curls flow beautifully over her shoulders. I let out a small sigh and stared at myself through the mirror, listening to the small whispers: I’m just as pretty as Salma, I could even be prettier. There’s nothing wrong with my hair, if only…
 

          I let out another sigh, this one was louder and Salma turned to look at me. I smiled weakly as I wrapped the hijab back over my hair and stared at myself in the mirror. It wasn’t that I felt ugly wearing hijab, on the contrary, I believed it maintained my beauty, however there were days when all I wanted to do was go out and show people that I had more to offer. The feeling came on days like these when all my friends and I decided to go out for dinner and maybe take a stroll through the city streets and stop for ice cream somewhere. I was the only one of my friends who wore hijab and on nights like these it was perfectly clear. Everyone looked beautiful in their dresses and high heels, while I opted for a long skirt and ballerina flats.

            

           I had become an expert at hiding my moody ways so I smiled at the appropriate moments, offered my fair share of good jokes and stories, and complimented everyone as enthusiastically as I could. Throughout the entire evening the whispers grew louder and louder until I finally excused myself to use the restroom. I stood over the sink and tried to keep my balance as I felt my entire body get consumed with the agonizing, pathetic murmurs of a tormented girl that I fought daily. But I didn’t want to fight anymore, so I slowly started to take off my hijab. I let my hair fall down my back and watched my vision blur as the tears began welling up in my eyes. She was beautiful.
 

             As my vision cleared up again I realized something so obvious that I had to catch my breath before my brain could sort it out. I looked at the stranger in the mirror and realized that not only did I not know this girl standing before me, but I also felt no desire to share her with the world. I wiped my tears slowly and stared back at the girl in front of me, “You, my friend, are very beautiful. But no one needs to know that, you’ll be our little secret.”
 

            “Hey Dana,” Salma said as she walked through the door. “Are you okay?”

            

             I turned and smiled widely at her, “I’m absolutely perfect, Salma, just perfect.” The words came out with so much truth to them that I almost cried again. As we all walked out of the restaurant I could see my reflection in the glass and it was difficult for me to contain my laughter as I realized that I was a beautiful secret, the one that Allah had bestowed upon me with all the trust in the world. My heart was the only beauty people needed to see, and frankly that sufficed. I am a beautiful secret.