Monday, February 1, 2016

Hijab: From a Burden to a Blessing


 Hijab: From a Burden to a Blessing
(The person who wrote this amazing post would like to stay anonymous)
“She took it off.”
“Oh! Did she? I knew she would. Who wouldn’t have guessed it?”
“I saw this coming too. May Allah [swt] protect us.”
Sounds familiar, right? Pretty much all of us have been part of a similar conversation. It has become quite easy to tell if someone is about to take of their hijab. But we hardly stop to analyze this issue.
We currently live in a time of fitnah, where the basic Islamic teachings are considered to be controversial topics. Accordingly, many Muslim women do not feel at ease with the decision that they made some time ago: being a hijabi. We are not always as strong as we once were, neither is our iman. Our faith is therefore bound to change due to many factors. The clue is to be aware of your iman level, and start to take corrective actions accordingly.
Let’s start by understanding the tactic..
Taking off the hijab is usually not the end, nor the beginning; it’s merely a step within a series. The reason you won’t be surprised if a friend of yours took her hijab off is because it shows before she does. And this could be any of us, may Allah [swt] protect us. Satan is smart, he drags us step by step…
“O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Satan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Satan - indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing. And if not for the favor of Allah upon you and His mercy, not one of you would have been pure, ever, but Allah purifies whom He wills, and Allah is Hearing and Knowing.” [Qur’an: Chapter 24, Verse 21]
Understanding this technique will help us avoid falling into Satan’s trap. He doesn’t bring it all at once, he’ll take you bit by bit into where he wants. Therefore, when we find ourselves slipping into sins or actions that we never used to do, or giving up on good deeds that we used to do, we should take the hint that our heart is changing. Otherwise, we’ll soon enough feel that our hijab is a burden, that it does not represent us, and that this is not who we are. This will be true, because our actions and beliefs won’t be in harmony, and our hearts are so fragile that they won’t be able to handle this confusion.
We learn from our tradition that iman is what lies in the heart and is reflected through action.
This is the reason why some hijabis don’t feel that they are able to keep their hijab on, and why some non-hijabis feeling of guilt kills them every day. Because our actions and beliefs go hand in hand; they complement one another. We can’t work on one and neglect the other. We need to promise ourselves that no matter how much of a downfall we’re in, we can only stand still and not take steps backwards, until we’re in sha Allah stronger and we’re able to take our imaan steps forward.
We can’t fight our nafs on our own. We can always ask for help. We need to accept that we are humans; we forget and we get attached to this dunia. We need to ask Allah [swt] for assistance and support. Make a lot of dua. Ask Allah [swt] to make you stronger, to teach you, and to make your soul at peace. We should work on our passion, on our understanding of Islam, on being mindful when performing our prayers, when doing dhikr. It’s doubtful that any of us will face the same struggles if we are attentive when we recite this for at least 17 times in our 17 rakaas everyday:
“It is You we worship and You we ask for help.” [Qur’an: Chapter 1, Verse 5]
It’ll also be a lot less of a battle if you share it with your sohba salha (righteous companions). We’re not always strong enough to fight all temptations on our own. Sometimes we need to listen to someone else speaking to our soul. That’s why it’s essential to be surrounded by sohba salha, or to at least have a couple of people who you consider to be your safe sohba salha zone; to whom- at your weakest point- you might burst right there, and return with all the positive energy needed.
This also goes the other way round; if you think a friend of yours is on the edge, your little talk about it might be exactly what she needs. The elephant in the room’s approach will not be the best help you can give her. Your words might not solve the problem overnight, but they might ring a bell, and this might be exactly what she needs. Allah [swt] tells us in the Qur’an”:
“So remind, you are only a reminder.” [Qur’an: Chapter 88, Verse 21]
We also need to remind ourselves, what is this?
Hijab is not about covering our hair; it’s about being modest. This little piece of cloth should remind us every single day that this is not where we belong. We belong in Jannah, and we therefore need to make the effort. Prophet Muhammed [saw] said:
“Be on your guard that the commodity of Allah is precious. Verily the commodity of Allah is Jannah.” [At-Tirmidhi]
This dunia is just a gateway for us to eternally live in the company of Allah [swt], Prophet Muhammed [saw], and the Companions [ranhum]. We need to forego some of our desires, some of our ego, and some of our clinging to this deadly life, in order for us to be eternally somewhere we wish to belong.
To cut things short, is hijab a battle or a blessing?
It’s all about our perspective. If we keep thinking of hijab as an obligation and burden, we will definitely feel sorry for ourselves and we will be looking down on ourselves. The key is to “stay on solid ground” knowing that even if we look stunning without hijab, we are leaving it all for something greater, we let go of pleasing people and pleasing our own nafs “ego” which always wants to be fed with nice words and compliments. But for whom are we doing it in the first place? Yes, Only for Allah [saw] and definitely Allah [swt] will reward us in dunia and akhira.
Hijab is our blessing from Allah [swt]. How could we ever think of trading off a blessing for a false pleasure, how we could imagine that a blessing shall stay with us if we are taking it for granted or as if we are doing something we should be thanked for? No, for our surprise this is not a thing we should be thanked for, it is simply a blessing that we are the ones who should be thankful for, by keeping ourselves as Allah [swt] wants, not as we please.
“So remain on a right course as you have been commanded, [you] and those who have turned back with you [to Allah ], and do not transgress. Indeed, He is Seeing of what you do.” [Qur’an: Chapter 11, Verse 112]
It’s funny how Satan and our nafs are falsifying some deep-rooted concepts inside us, that we might think that our looks could bring us a good job, handsome husband, or could give us any of our pre-written rizq. Allah [swt] is the One and Only who can make us look beautiful, bring us a good job, husband or whatever else. No, it is not me or you, it is not our looks or how smart we think we are.
"O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " [Ibn Majah]
Passing the real test!
Our battle and struggle is hard; as people are taking it off easily nowadays but here is the test, we shouldn't think that it would be easy, but Allah [swt] will help us get through it if we seek help from Him and take steps towards Him. Yes, we will be tested in our faith and every step we take towards Allah [swt], to examine our sincerity.
“Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried?” [Qur’an: Chapter 29, Verse 2].
But, guess what, every time you feel you are passing a test, by the aid of Allah [swt], you feel stronger, freer, and really liberated from the burdens of your nafs, your shaitan and your desires. For the very first time, you will get that feeling of a champion, a real winner, you win the battle against your nafs because you want an eternal pleasure, you shall not settle down for this worldly life temporary pleasures that may be looking bright from outside. But if they are not pleasing the creator of this world Allah [swt] , they will definitely go in vain.
“Whatever you have will end, but what Allah has is lasting. And We will surely give those who were patient their reward according to the best of what they used to do.” [Qur’an: Chapter 16, Verse 96]
My hijab, I won’t let you go!
Yes, I will hold on to my hijab, to every single aspect of it. It's not the hijab that needs fixing and adjusting so I'd fit in; It's my very self that needs fixing and adjusting.
Hijab is not just a headscarf, it is encompassing modesty not just in how we dress but modesty should be crystal clear in our attitudes and interactions. If anything shall contradict with my hijab, then it is THE thing that I should get rid of, not my hijab.
I know well I am full of mistakes, downfalls and sins that only Allah [swt] knows about and seals every single time. Voila! Satan starts whispering “ How can you wear Hijab, whilst you are making other mistakes; you hypocrite!“
Everyone has his/her own mistakes, but the idea of “I should be a perfect person to be able to put on Hijab” is actually one of the very well-known evil ways of Satan to make us slip in the circle of what comes first: Hijab or morals! Why not working on both together, putting in mind, that NOBODY is perfect, I am not perfect and I never will be, I am just trying as hard as I can to fix my soul, my relation with Allah [swt], my interactions with people and finally my outer look. It is not all or none game, it is the matter of us trying to be as good as we can in each of our life aspects. May Allah [swt] teach us, help us, and guide us to the righteous path. Ameen.
Some tips:
• Stop the negative self-talk and self-comments. You are beautiful.

• Be mindful in your prayers and dhikr.

• Take time to reflect on your iman level often.

• Make a lot of dua.

• Surround yourself with righteous friends and be a righteous friend.

• Ask for help when you need it.

• Try to have a fresh new start with your hijab, discover and reap its benefits

• Revive your style to be modest and chic.



Wednesday, October 8, 2014

My Favorite Love Story


 My Favorite Love Story
     Habiba Ghanem

The love that they had for each other was the forever and always kind of love. It’s better than any love story we hear about these days. It’s a story that I personally love to hear over and over again.  He was a young man who was known for his great character and she was a successful business women; a widow who the richest and most noble men wanted to marry.

They met when she was seeking a trustworthy person to travel and take care of business affairs. His uncle went to her and told her that the young man would be able to do the job.

Can anyone guess the two people whose story I am about to tell?

If you guessed Prophet Muhmmad (PBUH) and Khadija Bint Khuwaylid (RA) then you are correct!

When Khadija (RA) asked her servant to report to her about the young man after his first business trip (which was successful), the servant talked about his amazing and kind character. The servant also mentioned that though they were traveling in the sultriness weather conditions of the desert, the shade seemed to shield them wherever Muhammad (PBUH) was. Khadija (RA) was very impressed with the young man’s success and character. As the days went by, Khadija (RA) grew fond of Muhammad (PBUH) and wanted to marry him.

Khadija (RA) sent her sister(some sources say her friend) to talk to the Prophet (PBUH). Her sister asked the Prophet why he was not married and he told her that he didn’t have the means to get married. So then Khadija’s sister asked him, “What if I suggest a women of beauty, wealth, nobility, and character?”

The Prophet (PBUH) then asked, “Who is she?”

“Khadija” Her sister said. Upon hearing her name the Prophet asked how could he be her husband when she turned down the noblest men of Quraysh.

Soon after that conversation the Prophet (PBUH) and Khadija (RA) got married.

Though some people were surprised by this marriage; after all she was a wealthy woman who was a widow with a son from a previous marriage, and he was a young man who did not have much. Many people were happy because two people with beautiful characters had decided to become life partners.

When the Prophet started going to Mount Hira, Khadija (RA) didn’t complain when he was out there for a long time. She would climb up the mountain at the age of 55 to give him food and comfort him. She was always there to encourage him while he was trying to figure things out.

After the first revelation in Mount Hira, the Prophet ran back to the house shivering and kept saying “cover me, cover me.” Khadija was there to console him. She was the first to listen to him and became the first person to accept Islam as her deen. She was the first there to support him as he took his role as the Prophet of our Ummah. She supported him emotionally and religiously. When the Prophet would get up and pray at night, she would be right there next to him praying and to reassure the Prophet (PBUH) she would tell him “Walahy Allah will not disgrace you, because you uphold the ties of kinship, you are good to your neighbor, you treat the orphans well, you take up the cause of the one who has been wrong.”
 
When people turned their back on the Prophet (PBUH) and gave him a hard time, Khadija was the rock of support. She would support the Prophet (PBUH) and the believers with her wisdom and money.  Throughout the course of events that took place, Khadija’s faith and love for Allah (SWT) kept growing. Khadija’s strong and loving character captured the heart of not only the Prophet (PBUH), but her character touched and inspired many people to enter the faith of Islam.
There was a boycott on the Prophet and whoever followed him, thus the believers could not get proper food. Khadija’s nephew would sneak them food but when Abu Jahal found out, he cut that route. Thus they lived on very little food and water, she used to eat leaves and due to those hard conditions of not eating properly Khadija became ill and died. The year the Khadija (RA) was known as the year of sorrow, it was also the year that the Prophet lost his uncle Abu Talib.
When Allah gave the Prophet (PBUH) the order of prayer it was after the Prophet (PBUH) had lost Khadija (RA), she was the person who was able to put him at ease and was always there for him when times got tough. Prayer was passed down so that the Prophet (PBUH) could have that comfort that he used to have.
 
Though Khadija had passed away early in Prophet Muhammad’s prophet hood, she remained forever in his heart. He used to cry upon seeing her sister who reminded him of her. He used to send gifts to her friends. Even Aisha (RA) used to get jealous of the love that he had for her. One day Aisha (RA) asked Prophet Muhammad why he was always mentioning the “Old Quryash Woman” and that Allah had granted better for him, the Prophet got upset and said, "Indeed Allah did not grant me better than her; she believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand."

When talking about Khadija (RA) the Prophet used to say: "
إنى قد رُزِقتُ حبها"
Which is translated to: “Khadijah’s love was given to me by Allah (SWT)
Khadija (RA) was a beautiful woman with the best character and full faith. She is the epitome of loyalty and through all the struggles that they faced she never stopped supporting the Prophet (PBUH). Though he married after her, the Prophet (PBUH) loved her all his life. He never forgot her and remained loyal to her.

There is so much that we can learn from their story. The idea of good character arises a lot in their story. They both had exceptional character which made them loved by people. Though the richest men proposed to Khadija (RA) she chose the man who was honest and trustworthy. This is something that we lack in today’s societies, people go after the wrong things they pick the material things. The material things can disappear in an instance but good character remains through think and thin.

If it wasn’t for good character than there wouldn’t have been the loyalty which became vital when the revelation came to the Prophet. Khadija did all that she could to help her husband out even when their circumstances became harsh. It is important to understand that life is full of ups and downs and it is important to help people especially those who matter when life goes off course.

As mentioned above the Prophet (PBUH) never forgot Khadija and he appreciated everything that she had done for him. Here is yet another important lesson to learn. Appreciation. We need to be more grateful and appreciative to those who help us out and to our Creator.

What are your thoughts and reflections after reading about one of the greatest love stories of all time?

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Tips on Making the Most of Ramadan: Part 2

Asalam Aleykom!

      Let's continue with Part 2 of "Tips on Making the Most of Ramadan."


4. Be around so7ba sal7a (Good company)
سُوۡرَةُ الکهف
وَٱصۡبِرۡ نَفۡسَكَ مَعَ ٱلَّذِينَ يَدۡعُونَ رَبَّہُم بِٱلۡغَدَوٰةِ وَٱلۡعَشِىِّ يُرِيدُونَ وَجۡهَهُ ۥ‌ۖ وَلَا تَعۡدُ عَيۡنَاكَ عَنۡہُمۡ تُرِيدُ زِينَةَ ٱلۡحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنۡيَا‌ۖ وَلَا تُطِعۡ مَنۡ أَغۡفَلۡنَا قَلۡبَهُ ۥ عَن ذِكۡرِنَا وَٱتَّبَعَ هَوَٮٰهُ وَكَانَ أَمۡرُهُ ۥ فُرُطً۬ا (٢٨)
“And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect.”

5. Make the most of Qiyam: 
               - Have Suhoor
              - Ask Allah for anything! Beg as if you are a child who wants their parents consent on something.
               - Read Qur’an
               - Ask Allah for forgiveness

6.  There may be small bumps that will take you away from 3ibadat (practicing), so be cautious. These things may be TV shows or people that will stop you from doing good deeds. Lower your gaze to this dunya and focus on the bigger more important picture.
Use new duaas that you aren’t used to using and understand them so that you can recite them with more emotion and sincerity.

7.  Be careful of bigger bumps that may take you steps backward when you just started to move forward. Things that cause much bigger bumps include Al 3ojb (which was mentioned above).
When you start being proud of your accomplishments remember that Allah is the reason behind them. When you are blessed with a gift from Allah be thankful for the gift and don’t let it cause you to forget Who gave it to you. Always be in need of Allah, without Him we are nothing and be sincere with your actions.

8. Make the most of the last 10 days of Ramadan and await  laylit Al Qadr (The Night of Power).

9. Evaluate yourself through Ramadan and get rid of things that went wrong. To make up for the things that went wrong you can carry out zakat al fitr.

10. Husn zun bi Allah; expecting good from Allah or being optimistic towards Allah

"يَقُولُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى: أَنَا عِنْدَ ظَنِّ عَبْدِي بِي، وَأَنَا مَعَهُ إِذَا ذَكَرَنِي، فَإِنْ ذَكَرَنِي فِي نَفْسِهِ، ذَكَرْتُهُ فِي نَفْسِي، وَإِنْ ذَكَرَنِي فِي مَلَإٍ، ذَكَرْتُهُ فِي مَلَإٍ خَيْرٌ مِنْهُمْ، وَإِنْ تَقَرَّبَ إِلَيَّ بِشِبْرٍ، تَقَرَّبْتُ إِلَيْهِ ذِرَاعًا، وَإِنْ تَقَرَّبَ إِلَيَّ ذِرَاعًا، تَقَرَّبْتُ إِلَيْهِ بَاعًا(1) وَإِنْ أَتَانِي يَمْشِي، أَتَيْتُهُ هَرْوَلَةً"

رواه البخاري (وكذلك مسلم والترمذي وابن ماجه)
Allah the Almighty said: 'I am as My servant thinks I am (1). I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed."

انا عند ظن عبدي بي فليظن عبدي بي ما شاء
 
And Allah knows best.
May Allah purify our hearts and guide us to the straight path.
Ramadan Kareem and Jazakom Allahu Khayra! 



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Tips on Making the Most of Ramadan: Part 1



                           Tips on Making the Most of Ramadan: Part 1

Asalam Aleykom w Rahmato Allahu w Barakato lovely people!    
         I just attended a very beneficial Ramadan preparation lecture. Allahuma Bale3’na Ramadan! We have beautiful and blessed days ahead of us insha’Allah and we must make the most of them. I would like to thank Miss Hoda for giving a lovely lecture and I would like to thank Brother Abdulrahman Maged for helping me out,  Jazakom Allahu Khayra!

                         The lecture started out with a couple of important reminders:

- It is important to note that Ramadan is not a destination rather it is a tool that we use to improve ourselves.
- The aya that orders us to fast:
سُوۡرَةُ البَقَرَة
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ كُتِبَ عَلَيۡڪُمُ ٱلصِّيَامُ كَمَا كُتِبَ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِڪُمۡ لَعَلَّكُمۡ تَتَّقُونَ (١٨٣)
Surah Al-Baqara
O you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous  (183)

- What is Taqwa?
                 According to Ali Ibn Abi Talib, “Taqwa (God-consciousness) is to fear the Almighty; to act upon the revelation; to be content with little, and to prepare for the day of travel.”
- In order to improve ourselves we must get rid of the diseases in our hearts:

                The heart must be taken care of because; as Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said; "Beware, in the body there is a piece of flesh; if it is sound, the whole body is sound and if it is corrupt the whole body is corrupt, and hearken it is the heart." [Sahih Muslim]

              When the heart is sound, so are our actions which are based on our intentions; Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “When man’s love, knowledge and aspiration is directed in this worldly way, the heart becomes narrow and gloomy as it is distant from the source of its revival and life.”

              We must us the Qur’an to fix our hearts; "O mankind! There has come to you an instruction (Quran) from your Lord, a cure for whatever (disease) is in your hearts, a guidance and a blessing for the true believers."  [Yunus - 10:57]
سُوۡرَةُ یُونس
يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلنَّاسُ قَدۡ جَآءَتۡكُم مَّوۡعِظَةٌ۬ مِّن رَّبِّڪُمۡ وَشِفَآءٌ۬ لِّمَا فِى ٱلصُّدُورِ وَهُدً۬ى وَرَحۡمَةٌ۬ لِّلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ (٥٧)

                                             Tools to Change the Heart

1.     Search your heart with sidk (sincerity):
Look for the flaws such as;
1.           Riya2; doing things to show off in other words not for Allah but for people to complement you
2.     Love of worldly things
3.    7asad; Jinxing or being envious of what others have.
4.     Soo2 el zun; being pessimistic towards or questioning; others, Allah, life, etc. When you feel pessimism towards something say:
اللهم لاَ خَيْرَ إلا خَيْرُكَ وَلاَ طَيْرَ إلا طَيْرُكَ وَلاَ إِلَهَ غَيْرُكَ ) .
5.     I7tikar el zonoob; belittling the sins that you are guilty of
6.     Al 3ojb; being pleased with oneself and actions that one becomes conceited. Ibn Qayim had a saying which basically means that if you feel that you reached a point where you perfected your faith and you have no flaws then you are in big trouble.
The things mentioned above are only a couple of the diseases of the heart. If you want help in overcoming the diseases of the heart, you can watch Moez Masoud’s show; “Thawra 3ala El Nafs.”
The diseases of the heart take are considered as cancer of the soul. They take away thawab and stop you from doing good deeds. Your heart becomes weak heart which makes its immunity weak and the smallest fitna can ruin you heart. So Ask Allah for a pure heart.
Abu Bakr (RA) asked Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) what a good duaa would be to say in prayer and the Prophet (PBUH) said:
اللهم إني ظلمت نفسي ظلماً كثيراً، و لا يغفر الذنوب إلا أنت. فاغفر لي مغفرة من عندك و ارحمني إنك أنت الغفور الرحيم.

2.  Decide your goal. What goals do you want to accomplish during Ramadan?

3.  Fix the heart:
   -Don't belittle the smallest sin.
-             Talk to Allah and tell Him everything.
-             Get rid of debt; for example if you owe people money pay them back. If you gossiped about someones ask for their forgiveness or make duaa for them or spend in charity so that Allah forgives you.
-             Forgive



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